


A Bad Night

by raindrop_royal



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9084994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raindrop_royal/pseuds/raindrop_royal
Summary: Alex has a bad night. Lafayette comes to help him through it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i was listening to "dear happy" by dodie clark and i related it to my own iffy mental state and boom  
> fanfic

Alexander took a breath. He sat up in his bed, the covers around his waist. He felt tears in his eyes, but they wouldn't fall. He'd spent too long trying to keep his eyes dry. Without hesitation, he picked up his phone from the charger and dialled Lafayette. Within seconds, his friend answered.  
"Alex? Are you alright?" Alex realized he really didn't know what was happening in his head, so he cast about for something to say.  
"I… I miss you." He was struck by how true the words were.  
"You just saw me, Alex," Laf said, chuckling.  
"I know, and I'm sorry. Can you come over? It's a bad night." Alex knew that all Laf needed to hear were those words. Even before he said the words, he'd heard the sounds of Laf getting up.  
"I'll be over in a minute. Do you want me to stay on the phone?" Alex nodded, then remembered that Laf couldn't hear anything but silence on his side.  
"Yeah, if you could stay on, that would be great."  
"Alright. I'm leaving my apartment now. I'm taking the elevator because it is too cold to walk down the stairs." Alex chuckled, remembering how cold Laf's building normally got. "The elevator lady just told me my floor. Mon Dieu, it's freezing. I hope your building is warmer than mine. Oh, there's a lady winking at me from across the street. I waved at her. Shit, she's coming over. I am now walking faster in the hopes that she doesn't think I'm interested." There was a bit of crackling silence before Laf spoke again. "She is definitely following me. Oh look, Vince is at the door. He let me in and the lady is no longer in pursuit. I'm climbing the stairs. Oh, Mrs Josephine fixed her doorknob. Nice. Aw, and Delaney and Roger put up Christmas lights. How sweet." There was another silence, then a distant voice. "Alex, your grumpy downstairs neighbor just asked me what a 'hoodlum' like myself is doing in the building so late at night. I told him I was going to visit a friend and he grumbled something about sodomy and 'the damn gays'. If only he knew. Oh look. Your door. Let me in, ma chérie." Laf's soft voice came through the door and more loudly through the phone in Alex's hand. He stood, wrapped the blankets around himself, and walked into the living area of his little apartment. He saw the light from the hallway coming from the space under his door, and two shadows where Laf's feet rested. He opened the door, squinting at the light. Laf hung the call up, smiling gently as his pseudo-boyfriend. Their relationship was a complex one, but it worked for them, and inevitably, if Alex was having the kind of night that Lafayette thought, they would end up talking about their relationship again. Laf was completely fine with discussing their relationship; in fact, he encouraged it. Alex was the most out-of-tune with his feelings of the four friends, and if having the same conversation again helped him figure things out, Laf wasn't gonna complain.  
"Hello, mon coeur. Let me in?" He ended the request as a question, remembering the time that Alex hadn't wanted Laf in the apartment, so they sat in the doorway until 5 am, talking of nothing. This time, Alex seemed fine with Laf being inside.  
"Come in. Can you make coffee," Alex asked, wrapping himself tighter in his blanket and sitting on the couch. Laf nodded and got to setting up the coffee to brew. He dusted coffee grounds from his hands.  
"Alex, can I turn the heat up? It's freezing in here." Absentmindedly, Alex nodded. Laf walked over to the thermostat, turning the dial to a slightly warmer setting. He grew more worried when he saw Alex staring off into space. He joined his friend on the couch.  
"Alex? Is there anything you wanna talk about?" Alex didn't answer. Instead, tears started falling from his eyes. He turned to Laf and spoke.  
"I'm tired. And I missed you really hard."  
"Can I hug you," Laf asked. Alex nodded, the short bout of crying over, the tears already drying on his face. He leaned over to Laf, who put an arm around his boyfriend.  
"What do you wanna talk about this time?"  
"I dunno," Alex said, shrugging. "Anything. Nothing. Something."  
"Something revolutionary?" Alex shook his head.  
"Something irrelevant?" Alex shook his head.  
"Something to do with us that doesn't actually affect other people?" Alex nodded.  
"Music?" A head shake.  
"Animals?" A head shake.  
"Books?" A head shake.  
"Us as a relationship?" A head shake, then a pause, and a hesitant nod.  
"I just don't wanna bore you with the same subject over and over."  
"Love, you're not boring me. If anything, these conversations are my favorite because they give me a chance to see how you've grown."  
"Really?" Alex was suspicious. For as long as Laf had known him, Alex always held these insecurities that his friends didn't really like him, but pitied him. No matter what, Laf could never convince Alex that they truly liked him.  
"Yes, really. I like talking about this. It helps me to know how you're feeling." Alex nodded.  
"Well, for one thing, I feel like we're growing more romantic, but I'm not certain." The smaller of the duo shifted, resting against Laf's chest. "I like being with you, but the feelings come like waves. I'll feel very romantically inclined toward you, then I'll feel only friendship, and then it goes back. It just keeps switching back and forth. I don't understand it." Alex huffed, crossing his arms under his blanket. Laf chuckled and kissed the top of his head.  
"I don't think you really need to understand, ma chérie. If it makes you happy, why should you care about what it's called?"  
"I guess you're right. But doesn't it ever bother you that we can't say we're dating but can't say that we're not, either? Because it bothers me. Actually, that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is when we tell people about our relationship and they assume it's a friends with benefits thing. I have nothing against those kinds of relationships, but it's annoying when we explain our relationship and people make assumptions." Laf agreed.  
"It is annoying. Education is key, my dear Alexander. Let me up for a moment, I need to get the coffee." Laf tapped on Alex's shoulder. Alex sat up, letting Laf leave before flopping back and laying across the entire couch. He returned to staring off into space, the sounds of Laf pouring coffee into mugs passing in one ear and out the other. Alex felt the familiar sensation of nothing in his brain, then kind where Laf got worried because Alex would stop talking and listening and functioning entirely. The moments were always short, few, and far between, but Laf still worried. Laf always worried. Even now, as he was mixing flavoured creamer into Alex's drink, he was worrying about his significant other on the couch, wrapped in the winter blanket. Alex's mind buzzed, the nothing dissipating a little. The clink of a mug being set down broke him out of his trance. He blinked as though he was focusing on reality after daydreaming. He sat up slowly, like he'd just woken up from a very long nap. Laf carried two mugs into the room and set them on the coffee table. He sat down behind Alex, who was suddenly very, very tired. He yawned and Laf immediately wrapped his arms around Alex's chest, pulling him gently until he was laying down again. He heard Laf talking and responded, but he had no idea what was said, or even what the conversation was about. He felt Laf kiss his forehead and slowly, he drifted back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> laf and alex in a kinda-sorta-technically-dating-but-also-not type of relationship is my headcanon and i don't know why
> 
> on an unrelated note, this fanfic brought me back to reality so yeah  
> if anyone ever tells you fanfic is useless, don't listen to them
> 
> it's almost one am


End file.
